The Long Covid Collective

Hey George! From the other side of the world (very jealous you are living in the country that is my dream to visit!).

Thank you so much for writing this and please don’t apologies for the essay - I just absolutely love reading about other people’s experiences and hearing what they have to say, it also really helps me with feeling less alone. So thank you! Also yes it totally feels like an AA meeting but I kind of love it? Hehe!!

I am so sorry you have these symptoms, please never feel like you can’t share your experience because you don’t have as many symptoms- your experiences and feelings are just as valid! So I am so pleased you decided to write this, although it absolutely sucks your symptoms got bad again recently.

What did you study at university? Wow you should be so proud of yourself for getting your degree done, that is honestly such an achievement. You must have been incredibly determined, and that is just so awesome that your hard work and determination paid off. I am so pleased to hear that you had support from your Dad.

I definitely resonate with you there that as soon as the stress of studying or work ends, your symptoms start to get a little better. I definitely found this. I was a teacher and it is now the school holidays and I have noticed a slight shift in a lot of my symptoms and I think that is all down to the emotional stress and guilt I put on myself (even though I was signed off work so couldn’t do anything about it!). I am with you there with the quarter life crisis…this has now become a personality trait of mine…I have no plan on what I am going to be doing next as I have stopped teaching and so yes, join the quarter life crisis club!

I am genuinely so sorry that things have gotten worse since May, it is so difficult to navigate the unpredictability of this all, especially when you think you’ve made progress in your recovery and then you take so many steps back and there is literally no rhyme or reason to it. I am so sorry you have had a tough few weeks. I really don’t think you should feel yourself responsible for this worsening of symptoms, I think you should be so proud that you have worked so hard on your recovery and just see this has a couple of steps back. I can imagine you felt like you were making loads of steps forward so it must be difficult to have these steps back…but you’ll get back on track with it all soon, I am sure of it!

You are so right that recovery is linear, I feel we have all gone through the motions of feeling a little ‘better’ and then feel horrific and thinking it will never end. I definitely know for me that a lot of the worsening of my symptoms is emotional stress, of course physical exertion is a big trigger too, but definitely stress doesn’t help. Charlotte is so right with what she has said about random flare ups and body signalling (thank you again Charlotte!), she is also sooo right about the fact that you know your body so much better now and know of all the things you need to do to get yourself back to how you were in February. The main thing is that you put yourself first and take it easy. You already have that degree under your belt (which is just awesome!), so make sure not to push yourself to much (but I know you know this already-probably a lot better than me!).

I am so pleased to hear that you finally got a long Covid diagnosis. I know I felt a sense of relief when I got mine and I almost felt more valid? If that makes any sense? Even though I know it shouldn’t think like that! But yes, so pleased you got that and I really hope you get all the support you possibly can in NZ. I also really hope you get back on track with our recovery and your tough time at the moment doesn’t last for much longer. Sending so much love George and thanks again for writing such a fantastic post, I really appreciate it. ❤️

Now I am going to be the one to apologise for writing an essay! Sorry!

Thank you so much for responding Jemma!

How cool we play(ed) the same sport. I play center back so I would try to stop you from scoring goals actually ;) I do try to go and watch some games from my old team when the play at home. It is still a confronting thing but I forced myself to go the first time to not let the barrier grow for myself. A new season is about to start in the Netherlands and this is again (same as last year) the hardest part: new season, means new team, means new players. I feel replaced, I now they have to move on ofcourse but still...

Regarding university: fortunately there are not a lot of mandatory hours so I go to uni for those hours and for lectures I decide week to week what I will attend, depending on the matter that will be discussed. In general I do a lot of selfstudy at home with lecture slides and recorded lectures from covid lockdown. I have always been able to lean very easily and I am so grateful that this ability has not been affected by long covid. So I learn effectively in the times I feel fit.